I (29F) have been talking to a guy (29M) for almost 4 months. We met on Hinge and moved to WhatsApp within a couple of days. Until recently, we had literally never skipped a day of talking. If there was ever a delay, it was usually because I was traveling or sick, and I’d always communicate that.
Overall, things have been good. He’s a dry texter but great on calls. He remembers small details about me, randomly sends me pictures from his day, asks about my work/gym, and has always seemed caring. He also prefers calls over texting. He never let me end a conversation even if I try to reach and end it he continues. He never lets an awkward silence sit in between us during calls, he keeps talking or asking questions about me and my life. He would always ask me to stay in touch and keep sending him update if I’m travelling for work or catching flights for family trips. He has been consistent for last 4 months. He would often send a text randomly.
The biggest issue has always been distance. He’s based in a different city - a 6 hours drive away. I’ve been pushing to meet because I don’t think an online connection can progress forever. He has invited me to his city, suggested hills, beaches and road trips, but he’s also repeatedly said he doesn’t know when he’ll come to my city. Recently he even said he probably won’t be coming before October.
Then last week something changed.
He started saying he’d call but didn’t. One night he fell asleep after saying we’d talk. Then for the next few days he repeatedly said he’d call “tomorrow” or “FOR SURE today” but never did. I was left on read multiple times. During this time he was still sending me Instagram reels and was active on social media, which confused me even more.
Eventually I texted him asking how things were. He replied saying things were better and later called me (after I initiated the conversation). On the call he explained that his best friend had gotten into a serious altercation involving influential people, police and lawyers, and he’d been helping him nonstop for several days. He specifically said:
“I felt I owe you an explanation.”
He spent around 20 minutes explaining everything, answered my questions, asked about my new job, gym, week, and was genuinely concerned when I mentioned I had barely slept 1 or 2 hours a night for several days. And we stay in touch every single day. He ended the call saying:
“Let’s catch up tomorrow with a fresh mindset.”
The problem is… tomorrow came.
No text.
No call.
Nothing.
This has now become a pattern since last 4 days straight. He says he’ll call and then doesn’t. Before this week, we’d never gone silent like this.
I don’t actually think he’s a bad person. I also don’t think he’s playing games in the typical sense. But I can’t shake the feeling that maybe he realizes the distance isn’t practical anymore, doesn’t know how to have that conversation, and is slowly becoming inconsistent hoping I’ll eventually walk away myself.
On the other hand, his behavior on the call didn’t feel like someone trying to end things. He seemed genuine, caring and invested in explaining himself without me even asking and once his story was complete he started asking me questions about my day my week my gym my work everything!
So I’m confused.
Am I reading too much into his inconsistency, or would you also see this as someone gradually pulling away?
Sorry for a long text! Appreciate you reading this!
